Nitrogen Narcosis

Faster then a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...this is way better than drugs.

Monday, March 09, 2009


You ever had one of those lives.
I don't want to do shit and that includes shitting
I don't want to work
I don't want to be home
I don't want to read
I don't want to be on the computer
I don't want to work out (but I'm forcing myself to do so)
I don't want to watch TV
I don't want to eat
I don't want to starve
I don't want to go for a walk
I don't want to sit on my ass
I don't want to go for a drive
And I sure don't want to drive my car into a concrete wall

So WTF do I want to do.
HELP with ideas.
Quick before I fade away.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Favor

Sorry it's been awhile since I posted.
I'd like to ask the whole blogger community to please either pray to whatever higher power you believe in, or keep in your thoughts my co-worker.
Her name is Tammy (
2 years ago she had a double lung transplant, and now she is in the hospital, with cronic rejection.
Tammy is one of those truely wonderful people that we sometimes get a chance to have grace our lives.
She is always so upbeat and positive. She makes anyone she comes in contact with feel warm/fuzzy and loved.
She's a fighter too. I've never seen anyone tested as much as she has been and be able to smile and have such a positive attitude.
If anyone truly deserves a miracle it's the Tammy girl.

Thank you for your prayers and or good thoughts.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It tickles me

So the husband unit and I went to get some chicken the other night. It was late, we were hungry and neither of us wanted to cook when we got home. Now most Chicken places around here are owned by either Koren's or Vietnamese so it's already a challenge to get the correct order across to them. So we finally with many hand signals and jumping up and down get our order in. We go over to sit down and wait, and the doors open and I kid you not in walks a family right out of deliverance. I was so looking for the banjo boy, and hoping I didn't get made dinner at the same time.

It tickled me to watch them with their very hard texas/redneck accents trying to communicate with the workers in the chicken place. The workers are looking at them like who the fuck let you out in public, the family is looking at the workers like they were food themselves.

Well nobody human got eaten, the husband unit and I got our food and was heading out the door and I see the little delivery boy grab a big chicken order and hide it under his coat. (it's like 78 degrees outside why is he wearing a coat) Of course I had to follow

He is stalking down the side walk looking like Dick Dasterly from the cartoons. He gets to a door and looks around, and sneaks in the door. I look up and it's a dominos pizza place. I started laughing saying no he just didn't sneak into the dominos with chicken. About 2 minutes later he comes running top speed out of dominos, carrying 3 pizza boxes. He tears into the chicken place and runs to where the cooks are, Of course I had to look in the window and they are all scarfing pizza down as fast as they can chew.

I don't know why but I found this to be quite funny.

On the work out front. Last Tuesday I swam 1500 yards (that's alot for those not in the know) Then that night I did 20 minutes on the elipitical.
Wednesday I lifted weights then did 25 minutes on the elipitical that night.
Thursday Swam another 1500 yards, that night 25 minutes on the elipitical
Took Friday off. Lifted weights on Saturday, Did 40 minutes on the treadmill on Sunday Took Monday off, did 42 minutes on the treadmill today. Still trying to eat good as well.

Anyway it's ice raining here so I have to leave for work 2 hours early. I don't get the option of taking a day off for weather. Emergency Services and all. Wish me luck I don't have a traffic accident.

Happy Tuesday All

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I have no idea what to blog about

I'm not pregnant.
I have not won the lottery.
I have not planned my 5 year long around the world scuba diving trip.
I have not gone to prison or even jail.
I have not got a speeding ticket.
I have not wrecked my car.

So what does one blog about when one has a boring life.
I did drop my earring in the sink and it went down the drain this morning. Pissed me off I wanted to wear that earring today.
I did get pooped on by my baby bird. Did you know Macaws have huge shits and they pretty much cover your back. No...well now you know.
I did open the scuba shop this morning. The owner's mother passed away, and the man who has been running it couldn't make it right at noon. I've been incognito for several months so thought I'd help out.
I do have to leave the scuba shop at 2:15 to go make real money. :-). NO not working as a hooker on the corner but at my real job. Sheesh. My after hours job is stripping and hooking, how many times do I have to tell you people that.
I do have to pee if anyone cares.
I do like Burfica's new side bar on her blog. I just can be bothered to do something with mine. Maybe I should see what fun things I could do if i wanted to.
The scuba elf is suppose to make me a new layout, but of course he hasn't yet. He's been busy with his job.

hmmmmm what else....
Oh last night my partner gets a 911 call from a lady who is screeching at the top of her lungs. Then she starts ranting about sending her husband to the market to get some weanies (hot dogs) and he spent 3 dollars on them. My partner asked her do you have a police, fire or medical emergency. Crazy lady says Whatever it takes to get someone out here. Then she says oh wait there is more. After the 3 dollar weanies he went to McDonalds and got me a hamburger which is rock hard. HE IS DOING THIS TO DRIVE ME CRAZY. Ummm news flash lady to late you are crazy. And yes she demanded to speak to a police officer. I sent the one that had pissed me off. See all you police officers you should never make your dispatcher upset. I'm just saying.

I've been sticking to my eating and work out plan. It seems to be working. I drink a protein shake in the morning, have a morning snack (a muffin, a special kay bar, a few crackers with low fat peanut butter, something like that.) I have a protein shake in the afternoon and a afternoon snack (same as morning snack) Then on work nights I have a lean cuisine dinner. At night if I'm hungry I have another snack.
I've been swimming (around a mile) Been walking on the tread mill (around 2 miles) just started on an elipitical machine at work (have no idea how far) that sucker in 16 minutes is a better work out then 40 minutes on the treadmill.
I've worked out everyday so far this week. yay me!

Okay I'm done boring you.
Happy Thursday everyone.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

HAPPY 2009

It's 9:48 in the morning. Sitting here thinking where the hell did 2008 go. Wow it's like it was here then it was gone.
Does anyone else feel that way?
What a topsy turvy year for everyone. From $5.00 a gallon gas, to gas dropping below $2.00.
History being made with a woman and a black man trying to win their parties nomination.
On one side our first black president, and if he hadn't been voted in our first female vice president. WOW!! to look back and say I was there for that history.
No matter weather you voted for Obama or not, he is going to be our president, so I will try to support him and help in my own little way to keep America the country that we all love living in.
In the new year, (I don't make resolutions, but this is what I'm going to try to do)
1. Keep showing my husband that I love him any way I can.
2. Staying close to Burfica and Gigantor and Kiddo because well she's been my sister her whole live and I LOVER her and the boys to death
3. Keep trying to improve in my career, because that's one of the little ways I can keep our country the place we want to be. To continue to try to help people that need help and to help put bad guys in jail. Hopefully to just make a difference in some lives.
4. To get my butt back into shape. I've been lazy and using my back and knees as an excuse to not get off my lazy ass and work out. I've started 4 days ago and so far so good.

I may be using this blog sometimes as a list of what I did wrong or right, we all need to be held accountable for ourselves, and sometimes it helps to put it all out there.

and 5. To try to be better about posting on my blog and continuing to cement my relationships with my special blogger family that I tend to ignore way to much.
You are all special and when you comment it makes my day a little brighter, so thank you and know that I do care about you all.

Happy New Year Family

Oh just a note, On Dec 30th one of my police officers had a terrible thing happen. Some stupid punk set a fire in his neighbors pasture, the wind caught the fire pushing it into the officers home, burning it to the ground, the officer got out unhurt, with only the cloths on his back, his gun belt and was able to drive his truck out of the garage. The house burnt to the ground, and he lost everything. Thankfully he wasn't hurt. But to lose everything right before the new year and when you are so very close to retirement, and because of some arson punk. Please keep him in your thoughts. I've already started a big box of items, and the EPOA (our peace officers association) is starting up a donation program. Thanks for keeping my officer in your thoughts.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Holy Cold Nipples Batman's Texas, why is it 10 frigging degrees with the wind chill. It was 76 on Sunday, yesterday is was 26, today 31. That's before the wind chill. BRRRRRRRRRRR
I hate the cold hate hate hate it.

I'm one of those people that can't drive in ice and snow. But what sets me apart from most everyone else is I'm smart enough to admit it and get on the freeway doing 60 cuz I THINK I can drive in the stuff. I'm the one on the back roads going as slow as I need to. The dumb asses who do the stupid shit have big accidents, then I just have to breath and say, assholes are job security, ass holes are job security.

The husband unit is in the Christmas mood. He's listening to Christmas Carols right now. You know all the classics. Porky Pigs Christmas song, Grandma got run over by a beer truck, and that all time award winning song, by the fire drinking hot cocoa put me in the Christmas mood---I farted on Santa Claus.
I'm not kidding these are the songs he is listening to right now.

The dogs get to go to the vet for their Christmas present. Casper needs his anal glands done. (great visual huh) a rabies shot and I'm gonna put him on some arthritis medicine. Poor old guy is really stiff specially in this cold weather.
Zeus needs a rabies shot and he's got a sore on his front leg that he's been licking raw. Arughhhhh!!! But they need to go. I can't stand people that get pets then aren't willing to spend the money to take care of them..

So is everyone ready for the holidays. I still have to finish shopping for the elf. But I have Burfica, Gigantor, Kiddo and Captain Daddy's stuff all mailed. I even wrapped it this year. Some years I send it to Burf and say oh by the way only yours are wrapped you'll need to do everyone elses, but cuz she's the bestest sissy in the world she does it for me.

Have a great Wednesday everyone.
Safe travels and happy times

Friday, December 12, 2008

So Why Is It

So why is it when a man, especially a man you live with, eats something it always comes out his ass smelling like he ate road kill, RAW?

So why is it when you are looking at your sleeping rotweiller, and you see his butt hole open and a small pffffing sound, you know to run, run very quickly before the toxic wave hits you?

So why is it no matter what time you go to the walmart (that was built right behind your damn house) and no matter how nice the neighborhood, you ALWAYS meet white trash sally with her 8 dirty faced, snot dripping children in tow? (This includes the 3 am trip to the Walmart)

So why is it when you go to the movies, no matter where you sit in the theater, you are always tracked down by the family who's child will either not quick kicking your seat, or has to scream and cry half the movie, or has to keep up a non stop chatter?

So why is it when you tell the parents of the above mentioned child to control their child, or you are going to kill it, and cut it into small pieces and stuff it in the popcorn bag, said parents act like you've committed this terrible act of not loving their kid like they do.

So why is it when you are driving down the street minding your own business, the little old lady with the blue hair always tries to be in the same lane as you are in, in the exact same spot you are in.

Just some random thoughts for the day
Happy Friday all, time to go get my hair cut. I'm trying to let it grow out and it's in that stage that I want to shave myself bald.